The small you is a little piece of light in a Kaleidoscope. The big You is the Kaleidoscope itself. The image in the Kaleidoscope is ever changing, fleeting and just some light. The image is pretty whatever the pieces of light think of it.
You don’t control when you appear in the Kaleidoscope or when you disappear or how you move or what color you are. You have a story about control but in reality you have none.
You are also not separate from the rest of the pretty picture. You are in fact all the little pieces looking at the picture. You are the entire Kaleidoscope. Enjoy the view.
You are God peering into a Kaleidoscope and imagining that you are not in fact God but a tiny flicker of light. When in reality you are the One peering at itself. It’s a fun pastime, if time existed. But like everything else time and space are just stories. There is now and the picture. That is it.
So don’t take anything seriously. You are just as important as that little glimmer of light in the Kaleidoscope, not at all. You have just as much control over the picture too, none. The idea that you exist separate from the rest of the picture is a fiction. You are totally and utterly irrelevant. You only exist as a story. There is just the pretty picture, without meaning, without separateness from the One peering (at itself).
The One peering doesn’t care about the stories we make up about it. It enjoys a dark image to offset a light one. It enjoys a complicated one to offset a simple one. It just likes variation, change, new and interesting images. Because even God doesn’t like staring into a Kaleidoscope that is always the same.